Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
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official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
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At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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