Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
