Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
