I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
God I need to hump something, right now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
