The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
