D3 body, D1 cock
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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