How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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