At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize