i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
