I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
