I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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