I wanna passion pit in your ass
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
