woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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