you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize