So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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