I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
