FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
