it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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