weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
