the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize