if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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