speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
