dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
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you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
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You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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