you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
