he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
