it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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