the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
