Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So squirting runs in the family.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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