Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
