I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
