Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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