Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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