i was born a porn star she said
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
