i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize