Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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