just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
