so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize