How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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