since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize