I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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