haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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