And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
