even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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