even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
