may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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