sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
