youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize