I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Randomize
