I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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