I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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