i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
