Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
