Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
