'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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