I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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