Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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