Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
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It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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