I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
