Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
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I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
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The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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