Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
